Today should have been a normal Monday.  The morning began with the normal chaos of getting the Hubby and the Boy out of the door.  Walk the pooch.  Drive to work and punch the keyboard for 8.5 hours. Then go home and relax from another day of being a full time working mom.  But today is DIFFERENT.  Today will be harder than the last hundred + Mondays.  Why you ask?  Because today is DAY ONE.
I have known for quite some time that I am addicted to alcohol.  I am not one of the many alcoholics that is in denial about my addiction.  I have tried many times to stop or at least limit my intake.  But beer is SO GOOD.  I can easily down at least 6 of those luscious suds a night. 
My addiction began after I quit smoking 6 and a half years ago.  Replace one with the other.  Great idea.  Then I got pregnant a few months later.  That was the hardest 9 months ever.  Craving beer the entire time.  After giving birth I used the "beer makes the milk come in" excuse for cracking my first post preggo beer.  Heaven.  I wasn't in full fledged need to get drunk ever night mode at this point.  I was pumping so my drunken escapades had to be planned out.  I was not drinking every night at home at this point.
Fast forward a few years.  The Boy started going to preschool and I was already back to work full time.  It wasn't until a few months later that the school pointed out some things that were different about the Boy.  Long story short we found out that he had a learning disability and would need to go to preschool special ed.  (It wasn't until last summer when we took him to a neurologist that we found out that he has PDD-NOS).  This was devastating to me.  I grew up with learning issues and it SCARRED ME. I did not want that for my son.  Here is where my drinking started to spiral out of control.  Nightly drinking that would entail guzzling a 6 pack a night. 
Over the past year it has been the worst.  At least 6 beers a night.  On packed the pounds.  15 to be exact.  You would think this would make me stop.  No.  It didn't.  I just ate better.  Great.  At least I am not gaining anymore.  Just not losing. 
It wasn't until a month ago when I got a groupon for Hypnotherapy that my path started to shift.  I thought "hey, maybe this will make me stop drinking". I went to talk to the lady and after talking to her for a few minutes about my issue with the drink she said "you realize that you didn't come here for your drinking.  You are using the alcohol to numb yourself because you are devastated about your son.  I would suggest therapy". Whoa.  What a wake up call.  This lady that had only met me 5 minutes before figured out something that never even occurred to me.  Numbing.  I am numbing myself.  I get it now.  And it makes sense to me.
So I am jumping in.  I have gone to my doctor to get some suggestions for therapists.  This is my DAY ONE.  You may ask why today.  Well for the past week or so I have noticed my right side hurting right behind my ribcage.  And guess what is there ladies and gentleman.  You got it.  My liver.  My poor liver.  I have to do this now.  TODAY.  I want to be there when my son graduates high school, gets married, etc.  I don't want to die from liver disease. So with the help of this blog (which ='s accountability) I hope to make it to DAY TWO and beyond......

*FullofSuds